Weekly Writing Challenge: Lunch Posts #eatinghealthysucks #gymselfie

Let’s not kid ourselves. Giving up sugar, donuts, french fries, soda, coffee, donuts, bread, pizza, fast food, ice cream, donuts… it all sucks.  I’ve actually given up NONE of those things… but I have tried hard to cut back.  It’s all I can handle.  An Apple Empanada from Taco Bell is about as exciting as my life gets!  I’m much too weak to say never.

But sugar… I’ve really got to get serious about eating less of it.  Middle age has it’s way of telling you that.  I was recently shocked when I started paying attention to all sugar i was eating.  And that was just in my yogurt and my oatmeal!   And how fun is yogurt and oatmeal anyway?? If i have to eat that every day, then why I might as well get a donut!!

Frosted.

But instead of giving up all sensibility for a daily chocolate glazed (which would be f*cking awesome!)… i decided i could have the occasional root beer, Happy Meal, or mmm… donut… if I just simply get the sugar out of the things that are, let’s face it… pretty lame anyway!  No offense yogurt and oatmeal.  You have fantastic health benefits… but you are not a donut. 

yogurtIn all seriousness, I really do have a lot of respect for those who choose to eat consciously and stay active… no matter how moderate or extreme their habits are.  I am terrible at it!  But we all don’t have to be #cleaneaters and #fitnessmodels.  Right?  If I can just make a little more effort today than I did yesterday, and a little more tomorrow… maybe I can get somewhere with this.

I HAVE to get moving too.  I sit all day, and it’s soooo not good.  And lunch is the time.  For me, that’s the only time I can even hope to stick with it.  And it keeps me out trouble (like driving to the store for a donut).  This week’s WordPress challenge asked us to look around at lunch and document what you see (i paraphrase)… and this is pretty much what I see every day.  And it’s not horrible.  It gives me a chance to listen to gangsta rap.

It hasn’t been an easy week… I am almost done with my first week of plain yogurt.  Ugh.  I didn’t want to do it.   I have to throw a bit of honey or raisins in it, but it’s a start.  The oatmeal was a much easier adjustment.  But it’s gotten easier through the week, and I’m pretty sure I can do this.  In the name of name of longer life, and tighter buns.

#gymselfie

#gymselfie

now where’s my donut?

xo skyblue

p.s. sorry I didn’t post at lunch… I was a little busy listening to Pitbull and trying not to think about donuts. 🙂

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/20/weekly-writing-challenge-lunch-posts/#more-66914

There will be art… (maybe)

The more I blog, the more I get away from the reasons I thought i wanted to publish a blog.  My first attempt, Dancing Rapunzel, was pretty much started because I had some time to kill when chemo was kicking my ass.   I thought I should take advantage of my down time & learn something productive.  Blogging was a perfect way for me to keep busy and think creatively… from the couch.  I started writing with all intentions that it would motivate me to finish my art projects and that it would help me gain some confidence putting my art “out there”.  I posted just a few leather pieces and unfinished paintings here and there.  I soon discovered the unexpected extent of therapeutic value.  Overall, I continued hoping it would help me grow artistically, creatively, emotionally… regardless, I was supposed to be posting some art! 
After DR got hijacked, i had all but hung up my blogging hat (yes i actually have one), and suddenly I had a spark of energy to start over again with Sky Blue.  I thought that blogging again would help me put my creations out there in an anonymous world without too much discomfort.  As I continue my blog-therapy, I have been reminded how much I also love to write and take photos.  Since I can give you every excuse in the book why you haven’t seen much of my “art”, there will probably be a lot more words and amateur photography…at least for now.
I am working on my goal setting, and 7 Habits, blah blah blah for 2012, so my plan is to post some art this year!  I did a little painting this weekend, and that made me happy happy happy!  It’s hard to pick a painting to work on when i have so many in progress, and so few hours of daylight.  But I am trying to just focus on one at a time.  I’m working on a series of 3 paintings for my big blank brown living room wall – I wanted to do something insanely colorful and bold.  They were inspired by a blog post I saw about the Neon Bone-yard which I am completely obsessed with… I am dying to see that place if I ever get to Vegas so I can take my own photos, but for now I must paint from other people’s photos.
I hope I can share some paintings and sketches – finished or unfinished – in the near future. Until then, here are some more (sorry) cat photos.  My subject here is Olive on a sunny morning…

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e.j.l. xo
 

Christmas Happens

I am a hot-HOT mess during the holiday season.  Every year this is so.  I do not adorn my house in lights.  I do not put up any trees or tinsel.  i do not even send out cards anymore. I am just not good at what has become “Christmas”.  Trying to find the energy to go to work every day, when every moment of your free time becomes – shopping, baking, wrapping, frosting, traveling, coordinating, buying, cleaning, planning, rushing, organizing, mailing, cooking, standing in obnoxious lines… I long to simplify this madness.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with the madness.  I am just simply not good at it, I can’t seem to find the energy for it, and I have not figured out how to not go into debt more and more every single year because of it.  I know it is not healthy when I start worrying about it in August, only to become paralyzed from about November 15th straight through until January 1st, just before the New England winter really starts to suck and I start to stress out about tax season. (-:

Regardless of my obvious aversion to this red-green-and-glitter covered-money-making-machine mania we call Christmas, I am blessed beyond words.  Much of my trouble keeping up during this season, is self-induced drama, stemming from procrastination, poor planning, laziness, and forgetfulness. Looking through my photos today, i realized i am easily distracted… by the most ridiculous things.  It is a wonder I get anything done.  I tend to fall in love with the most random moments… i want to draw them, i want to write a poem about them, I want to take photos of them.

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In between my hot flashes in the mall…are the fantastic surprises, delicious food, family gatherings, and sweet moments.  This is the only way i know how to even slightly express my gratitude to the universe…

e.j.l. xo

Angel

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” 

Michelangelo

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I had this piece of wood.  I knew i wanted to paint a picture on it. it took me about two years to figure out just what i wanted to paint on it…

It was the best part of the morning, when the sun starts beaming warmth into my studio.  It was a Saturday, my favorite day.  I grabbed the piece of wood, sanded it for a while, and made a decision.  There i was, with all my best shades of purple, red, orange, and blue, ready to paint some random abstract sketch i found in one of my art journals…

And then i saw her out of the corner of my eye, right in the swirls of wood.  she was twirling around and around, her hair flowing, wearing the prettiest skirt.  i honestly couldn’t believe what i was seeing.  i looked away for a minute, but when i looked again she was still there.  i left the room to get some water, came back, and there she still was, kind of sad, twirling and twirling.  at that moment, i knew the abstract “whatever” could wait.  I quickly traced her silhouette with my graphite, before she could vanish.  then i just started painting.   When she emerged, I was her.  She was me… the dancer inside me.  She was so lovely and happy to be dancing, and a much better dancer than i ever was.  But there was some sadness in her eyes.   i named her Daisy.

i have danced on and off my whole life.  Ballet, tap, jazz, modern… In my late twenties i thought i was done for good.  I stopped altogether, and it went on that way for a few years, but i always felt the void.  In my 30’s i discovered belly dance, and thought i would be doing it until i was 80.  For many reasons in 2009, i stopped belly dancing and life went on with all its usual ups and downs…  just no dancing.  I was surely never going to dance again.  i was tired, my bones were creaky, i couldn’t even do a grand plie without groaning.

It seems Daisy came into my life just in time.  She reminded me how good it feels to dance…and that i was not yet finished dancing.  I realized that i don’t need to go to classes, or perform with a troupe, in order to continue to be a dancer.  i could dance right there at home, in my little orange studio, and i could do it my way.  Each plie, at my own pace.  Every hip shimmy, as gentle or as intense as i chose.   I could do ballet, belly dance, even yoga and aerobics, whatever the music made me feel like doing.  it would heal my body.  it would heal my spirit.  and i might even wear a bikini again!

Well, I didn’t wear any bikinis this summer, almost two years later, but to this day I dance and do yoga with Daisy.  My body is finally starting to feel stronger and the movement finally feels good again.  I intend to be dancing with her until i am 80, or more.   Daisy has been hanging on the wall there now since the first day i found her, another unfinished painting, another project procrastinated.  Someday I will take her down off the wall, and give her the attention she needs and deserves.  But it doesn’t really matter when, or if, i finish her.  What matters is that she was there, just when i needed her.  And now she is free.  Still a little sad sometimes, but free.

e.j.l. xo

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p.s. before the comment is posted… i am of course aware that my Daisy is not even in the same universe as Michelangelo’s angels.  I just liked the quote. (-:

Have you ever seen an “angel in the marble”?  Did it effect your life in some way?

little orange studio, i love you

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i am forever tidying up, moving stuff, hanging stuff, painting stuff, all in the an effort to create the perfectly inspiring space to do make art, write poetry, do yoga… some days i avoid the space – not feeling creative, too tired, too busy, the lighting is bad, its too cold, have a headache… if it’s an excuse, I’ve thought of it.  But on other days it’s hard to get me out of there.  If I had a sacred sort of space on this earth, this would be it.  If i were one of those life coaches, I would highly recommend creating a space like this, for yourself, in your own home if possible.  A place where you can feel inspired to do whatever it is you really want to do, really love to do… even on your craziest and laziest days.  One of my most ridiculous excuses is that if i can’t spend all day in there, i don’t want to go in there at all today.  Isn’t that bratty?  I decided that i need to just get my butt in there, every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes.  and maybe good things will happen.  Incense, mood lamps, a crazy coat of paint… whatever it takes to entice you into your special space.

e.j.l. xo

p.s. Tell me about your special space!  (-: