I am a hot-HOT mess during the holiday season. Every year this is so. I do not adorn my house in lights. I do not put up any trees or tinsel. i do not even send out cards anymore. I am just not good at what has become “Christmas”. Trying to find the energy to go to work every day, when every moment of your free time becomes – shopping, baking, wrapping, frosting, traveling, coordinating, buying, cleaning, planning, rushing, organizing, mailing, cooking, standing in obnoxious lines… I long to simplify this madness.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with the madness. I am just simply not good at it, I can’t seem to find the energy for it, and I have not figured out how to not go into debt more and more every single year because of it. I know it is not healthy when I start worrying about it in August, only to become paralyzed from about November 15th straight through until January 1st, just before the New England winter really starts to suck and I start to stress out about tax season. (-:
Regardless of my obvious aversion to this red-green-and-glitter covered-money-making-machine mania we call Christmas, I am blessed beyond words. Much of my trouble keeping up during this season, is self-induced drama, stemming from procrastination, poor planning, laziness, and forgetfulness. Looking through my photos today, i realized i am easily distracted… by the most ridiculous things. It is a wonder I get anything done. I tend to fall in love with the most random moments… i want to draw them, i want to write a poem about them, I want to take photos of them.
In between my hot flashes in the mall…are the fantastic surprises, delicious food, family gatherings, and sweet moments. This is the only way i know how to even slightly express my gratitude to the universe…